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Friday
Jul032015

A Steering Wheel Is Not a Clock!

By Al Vinikour

It’s been decades since I noticed the logo of a Dr. Pepper bottle. I say “bottle” because the last time I did notice one, they were actually bottled in glass. On the logo, which was repeated on the cap, were the numbers 10-2-4, laid out in a triangular pattern (an “equilateral” triangle as this sea hag I had for high school geometry — the only subject I ever failed — would describe). I suppose the gist of it was that if you had a bottle of Dr. Pepper thrice daily — at those three times — your thirst would be forever quenched.* (Full disclosure: I don’t think I’ve had even three bottles of Dr. Pepper in my life!)

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Friday
Jun052015

America’s Most Dangerous Combat Zone

By Al Vinikour 

Photo courtesy of the NHRAI received a letter the other day from a reader who feels the most life-threatening place to be is the parking lot of a shopping mall where there’s lots of cars, lots of pedestrians and very few brains behind the wheel.

For example, let’s say you’re going into Best Buy to price out that flat-screen television your family has been belly-aching about for the past six months. You manage to finally find a parking place some length away from the store and begin walking. Just for grins, let’s say your six-year-old twins are walking on either side of you while you’re carefully holding their hands. But wait… what’s that sound? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No… it’s some idiot in a Buick speeding down your aisle, oblivious to any obstacles in his way — including you and your kids. Luckily you avoid contact just in the nick of time.

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Friday
May222015

Take Your RPMs and Leave!!!

By Al Vinikour 

Throughout my life there have been a lot of worthless devices. Among them was my Pet Rock, my comic book collection of World War II soldiers on Pacific Islands that were inhabited by dinosaurs and my ex-wife. However, collectively none of them are more unnecessary to so many people than vehicles with tachometers. Oh, sure, there are those stalwarts who actually use an engine’s RPMs as shift points. Some would refer to these people as “driving enthusiasts.” Others would simply call them “anal.” 

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Friday
May082015

Hit… Run… Die

By Al Vinikour 

Al's idea of justice includes high-caliber automatic firearms, and thermonuclear devices.Maybe it’s just the positioning of the moon that affects the tides but it seems lately there’s an abnormal amount of hit and run incidents. Outside of driving while intoxicated, I think there’s no greater travesty on our roads. Within my own metropolitan area a poor 11-year-old kid was taking out the garbage as part of his chores and, as he wheeled the trash container to the curb, a driver of a vehicle that was speeding down the street lost control, hit the poor kid, slowed down to see what he’d done, and took off! As of this writing they still haven’t identified or caught this bastard, and the kid is dead. An entire family was destroyed because of the heartless and senseless KILLING (call it what it is) of an innocent child. 

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Friday
Apr242015

Shine Your Light On Me

By Al Vinikour
Twin spotlights were high tech, like retractable hard tops, fender skirts, and two-tone paint.I spend a lot of time in traffic, and being the noted auto writer that I am, the voices in my head tell me to notice those cars around me. I was sitting at a stoplight recently, and was looking at what can only have been a one-time police car. It was a 1970s Dodge Diplomat with the tell-tale wide tires and small hub caps; a good and stealthy look. As I stared at the vehicle and wondered how many miscreants of justice sat in that back seat either considering their fate and/or double-checking what they ate for lunch, I noticed the vehicle had two — count them — two spotlights. It got me to thinking how few of those items are on the road these days, even on police cars.

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